DOCTOR'S ADVICE - How can I tell if my girlfriend is a virgin?

Q. She swears that she is, but I would like to be certain. We are planning to have sex between now and Christmas. When it happens, I would like to make sure that she is truly and definitely a virgin. Thank you.

A. You cannot tell whether your girlfriend is a virgin unless you are a gynaecologist, which seems unlikely. I do not really understand why this matter is so important to you and why you doubt her word. Does she know that you suspect she is lying to you? I feel that the two of you must talk this subject over carefully.

For the sake of completeness, I should add that when a young woman loses her virginity, there is usually slight evidence in the form of a few drops of blood, but that is not always the case.  If your relationship continues and you do eventually have sex with her, please take care to use reliable contraception. Incidentally, you do not say whether you yourself are a virgin.

Q. I am female, age 19, and I am concerned by the fact that sometimes I can feel an attraction to other women, especially if they are beautiful. I do like men. Indeed, Doc, I have a boyfriend who is a nice guy. I am on the Pill, and we have sex regularly. It is very pleasant, and sometimes I discharge. I notice that occasionally, however, if I look at a famous female film star, I feel a distinct sense of arousal. Something in my mind says that I would like to kiss her or stroke her breasts. Other times, I think about male film stars. To be honest, doctor, the other night, I masturbated while looking at a photo of a very handsome guy. Please give me your professional opinion. Do you think I am a lesbian?

A.  I think you may have got a little bit carried away by their glamour. It is important to realise that many young women go through a phase in which both sexes are rather attractive to them. This phase tends to vanish as women get into their 20s.

Nevertheless, research has shown that quite a few heterosexual women do go through life feeling a slight 'pull' when they see a pretty female. Generally, that is nothing to fret about.

In your case, I really doubt whether you are lesbian. You seem to be enjoying a vigorous sex life with your boyfriend, and you are undoubtedly attracted to good-looking men. Your occasional fantasies about kissing other women are probably of little importance. I must admit that it is possible that in your 20s, you may turn out to be a lesbian, but I would say that the odds are against it.

Q.  I am a guy who does not want to have children in the next 10 years or so. Is it true that there is a device which a man can put inside his penis, that prevents him from impregnating women?

A There was such a device some years ago. It was like a little folded parachute that the guy had to fit inside his urinary pipe before sex. The idea was that it ballooned out when he climaxed. Alas, this ingenious invention did not work very well. Also, it could cause irritation to the man's penis, so it is no longer manufactured, and you cannot obtain it any more. My advice: use a condom.

Q. I have had bad period pains since I was 17, Doc. Aspirin does not help, so don't tell me to use that. What would you advise?

A.  I believe you should move on to one of the anti-rheumatic drugs. Although these were developed for treating rheumatism, they are very good for menstrual pain. I would prefer you to take a doctor's advice about choice of anti-rheumatic medication but good products include diclofenac, ibuprofen, and mefenamic acid. Please bear in mind that all these drugs can have side effects, particularly on the belly.  If those medications do not work, then ask your doctor about hormone preparations. In particular, the Pill will usually abolish period pain altogether.

Q Last Tuesday, I had sex with a girl in Portland. Then I discovered that she had her menses. Could this harm me, Doc?

A .Not at all, so quit fretting.

Q. Is it true that if a girl goes to the doctor for an internal examination, he or she will put some instrument inside you? I am scared of this.

A There is no need to be scared. In fact, there are two types of internal (vaginal) examination:

1. Manual examination. The doctor puts on a glove and slips two fingers into the vagina. This enables the doctor to feel the vaginal walls, the cervix, and sometimes other adjacent organs.

2. Speculum examination. This allows the doctor to actually see inside. He pops in a small, pistol-shaped instrument called a speculum. It is uncomfortable but not usually very painful. It is made of metal or plastic. Once it is inside, the doctor can view the cervix and also the walls of the vagina.

Speculum examination is essential if the doctor is going to do a Pap smear test because that test cannot be done unless the cervix is in full view.

Q I am a guy of 20, and I think I may have caught a sexually transmitted infection (STI) from a girl in Port Royal. I am due to go to a clinic this week.  I have heard that being examined for an STI is painful. Is that correct, Doc?

A .No, you have heard wrong. Being checked out for an STI is virtually painless. Most important: Do not have sex until you have been tested for STIs. The doctors will tell you if everything is OK.

Q. I have had several pregnancy scares, so my doctor wants to give me the contraceptive injection, but does it have any bad effects, doctor?

A Well, all medications can have side effects. With the shot, the commonest ones are heavy, irregular or prolonged menses; absent menses (which may make you think you are pregnant); headaches; bellyache; dizziness; and weight gain. Nevertheless, this is a very effective method of preventing pregnancy.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.