The gay thing

Michael Abrahams, Guest Columnist   

 I  clearly remember the first girl I 'liked off'. Her name was Marguerite,   and to this day, every time I hear the song 'You Sexy Thing', I   remember her, even though at that time I had no idea what sexy was.
As   I grew older, my interest in members of the opposite sex intensified.   Back in the day, THE STAR (God bless THE STAR) used to publish   photographs of topless women. I kept a secret stash of these, which I   hid in the bottom of my chest of drawers, as I found them to be valuable   visual aids to assist with ... ummm ... ahmmm ... you know.
The   point is, at no point in my development did I ever decide to be   heterosexual. I just realised that when I looked at, or found myself   fantasising about, certain females, I would notice 'changes' in my   pubescent body.   

 Which brings me to the topic of homosexuality. It   irks me when I hear people, especially religious zealots, claim with   authority that people choose to be gay. Sexual orientation is not a   choice. What you decide to do with your naughty parts, on the other   hand, is a completely different matter.

Personally, I cannot   understand how a man can be gay in Jamaica with so many beautiful women   adorning our landscape. To me it is akin to dining at a classy joint   like Strawberry Hill, viewing all that mouthwatering exotic cuisine, and   then ordering two water crackers and a bag juice.
On the   other hand, I also cannot relate to Jamaican men who spew venom at gays.   Things have now reached a stage where certain words, and a particular   number, have taken on completely different meanings. So some men would   rather starve to death than sit in a restaurant in 'Guys' Hill at table   'number two' and eat a 'fish'.
I just don't get it, because   the way I see it, the more gay men that are out there means the more   women available for the rest of us. It provides us with more options and   less competition. Think about it: If all the gay men in Jamaica were   straight, many of us probably would not be with the women that we are   today. Come to think of it, it is Jamaican women who should be seething,   as the presence of gay men in our population has reduced the already   shallow pool of eligible men to a puddle.

 Another matter that   perplexes me is the buggery law. First, I don't understand why the State   should be concerned about what consenting adults do to one another in   the privacy of their homes, hotel rooms and rooms in establishments that   offer hourly rates.
Second, according to this law, if two men   are caught in the act, the punishment should be to lock them up ...   with other men. Lots and lots of other men. Seriously? Does that make   any sense to you? I mean, isn't that more of the same? That is not   punishing, that is aiding and abetting. For we all know, it's like   All-Island Buggery Festival inside our prisons.

And from a   religious standpoint, why is homosexuality treated like the most   horrendous of all sexual sins? All this in a country where more than 80   per cent of us are born out of wedlock and children are being sexually   abused at an alarming rate. The Bible speaks about fornication and   adultery more than it does about homosexuality. So why are they not   illegal too?
Consider these scenarios. If two single   consenting adult men engage in a sexual act, they are not hurting   anyone. However, if a married man has intercourse with another woman in   the matrimonial bed, and impregnates her there, while contracting a   sexually transmitted infection which he then passes onto his wife, does   that not cause more physical and emotional trauma?
During our   last general election, the issue of gays in the Cabinet was a hotly   debated topic. To this day I cannot understand why, as sexual   orientation has nothing to do with one's ability to run a country.
As   a matter of fact, forget about the Cabinet. I think that it may be a   good idea to elect a gay prime minister. All the ones that we have had   since Independence have been allegedly straight ... and look where that   has got us.

Michael Abrahams is a gynaecologist   and obstetrician,  comedian and poet. Email feedback to   columns@gleanerjm.com and michabe_1999@hotmail.com, or tweet   @mikeyabrahams.