Orville Taylor | Storm in an F-cup

What a wrath-filled clout this slip of the tongue has made! Words really are not wind, because they can topple empires.

Years ago, a viral audio file with an expletive-filled rant was making the rounds. Someone from her party had ticked her off and her response was a firm and stern epistle. ‘Hypocritics’ jumped and tried to denigrate her. Truth is, I actually liked it. This little woman epitomised many of the qualities of Paul Bogle and others from the east.

One imagined that this strong woman with a small frame, channelled the spirit of Nanny of the Maroons. After all, there are occasions when, although one might be of the ‘fairer sex’, if she is in a position of leadership, she might just have to thug it out.

On the other side of the party divide another woman, whom, I admire very much, girthed one of her subordinates, deeply described him as a reproductive organ and warned him in unambiguous terms.

She capped it off with a scolding about that intimate body part not testing her.

This is Jamaica. We have red-letter words, many of which will cause trouble with Officer Dibble. These expressions are strict liability words and, even if uttered in an inoffensive manner, can cause legal repercussions.

Thus, when I discovered that India made various grades of fabric from the ubiquitous bamboo plant, with great caution I warned my colleague, who threatened to wear traditional Indian garb, as Mohandas Gandhi did.

Given the superiority of bamboo to cotton, just imagine him explaining that the curry made him have ‘dutty’ bamboo dhoti cloth. Add to that, him telling the police that the fabric is strongly cultural, like our old Madras cloth.

And of course, do not get me started with the traditional headdress of our indigenous Africentric house of Rastafari. His neatly wrapped turban is the Bobo Ras’ cloth crown.

Criminalised words are almost invariably those of the underclass. Let us be clear! There is zero place for offensive or threatening language, or to a lesser extent, words which are deliberately harmful.

Here, there is every reason for those Bible quoting, ‘Lord, Lord!’ pseudo-Christians to be unhappy with certain utterances.

Jesus himself did state in Matthew 15:11, “It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out ...” Thus, verse 5:22, makes perfect sense that “whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.” As Paul stated in Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up.”

Add that to the myriad Old Testament verses regarding blasphemy, taking the Lord’s name in vain, false witness and other transgressions, and we can understand why, in Barbados, saying anything with ‘God’ except in reverence, is actually an offence under the law.

Yes, in good old ‘Bimshire’ if one says, “Jesus Christ!” in alarm or excitement, rather than worship, it is an offence. Similarly, do not be caught saying anything resembling the English ‘God blind me’. Bajans, say “Goblee!” a contraction of “God blind ye!” and ‘Goblemmuh’ which is ‘God blind me’.

Truth is though, in many societies certain words are taboo, and most Islamic countries have severe sanctions for speaking the name of Allah or the Prophet Mohammed irreverently.

‘Hypochristians’ on this rock, however, are comfortable with using all sorts of denunciatory epithets to describe others. One Catholic priest himself was wont to make fun of us, and me in particular, calling us “blocks, stone, worse than senseless things” and other names. This is clearly sinful, according to the words of Jesus.

Yet, the reverend gentleman would visit great horrors on us, if we in glee or excitement, spoke of the fabric with feline qualities.

Of course, my quiet revenge was turning the word ‘Apocrypha’ into an anagram and blame it on my slight speech impediment, given that I stuttered sometimes.

Be not mistaken! Inasmuch as I have zero inherent issue with any of the Jamaican curse words; whenever they are used in a disrespectful or abusive fashion, it is absolutely wrong.

Moreover, given that the price of living in society is that we be conscious of the needs and feelings of others, we should avoid saying things, which hurt or make them uncomfortable.

However, when Robbie G greets me with a smile and three sentences, with 50 per cent Jamaica ‘badwud’; there is only amity and appreciation.

Still, Jamaican curse words are illegal, although the meanings are mostly unknown.

Something in our colonial/plantation history made it illegal to use the Patwa version of; used toilet paper or cloth, discarded sanitary napkin, reproductive orifices, especially those of large mammal, and the cloth used to cover them. Indeed, we have got so paranoid, that where blood coagulates inside a vein or artery, we call it a ‘blood clod’ out of fear of legal repercussions.

Last week’s mic malfunction made Opposition Leader Mark Golding drop an inadvertent bombshell, not intended for airplay.

It was simply a moment of his humanity showing. Nothing can compare it with a male politician’s great vitriol, malice, impunity, and wantonly disrespectful violations. Golding’s faux pas was forgetting that he was at the mercy of the vagaries of technology. We in electronic media are almost paranoid on outside broadcasts.

If attacked inordinately, this might be a fillip to him, as the uncommitted waited to see if this ‘white man’ had authentic roots or blackness. This bumper cloth could become his ‘kata’ for the ‘bankra’; not ‘Backra’.

No longer a Brit, he does not swear for King. In the thoroughbred race, he is running for the electile trophy and for cups.

Orville Taylor is senior lecturer at the Department of Sociology at The University of the West Indies, a radio talk-show host, and author of ‘Broken Promises, Hearts and Pockets’. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and tayloronblackline@hotmail.com