My boyfriend has a foot fetish

Q Hi, Doc. I have a new boyfriend, and I think I love him. We have been talking about getting married when we are a little older. I am 19; he is 20.

The only problem is I am puzzled by his interest in my feet, Doc. He doesn't mind kissing me and feeling my breasts and he sometimes fondles my private parts.

But his main interest seems to be my feet, which, he says, are beautiful. He likes to suck my toes and then do sexual stuff to the foot bottom.

Is he OK, Doc? I am a little confused.

A It is scarcely surprising that you are confused. This young guy is what they call a foot fetishist. This means that his sexual interest is almost entirely directed to women's feet - rather than to the female parts which men are usually keen on.

It is difficult to say why he is like this. There is a theory that when they were younger, foot fetishists (who are nearly always male) somehow got fixated on women's feet. Allegedly, when they were crawling around on the floor, they became turned on by the sight and feel of their mothers' toes and heels.

Is this true? It seems quite likely, but is difficult to prove. One thing I have noticed is that foot fetishism is not very common in Jamaica. Yet it is widespread in the US, where there are actually clubs for guys who are into that type of thing. Amazingly, on the Internet, there are more than 20 million porn videos which feature guys doing things to women's feet.

You can read more on the Internet about the possible causes of this behaviour, including articles by distinguished clergymen.

What I must tell you is that there is little chance that your boyfriend can be cured of his interest in women's feet. Psychotherapy could help him to modify his behaviour a little, but he might not be willing to try that. Many guys who have fetishes don't want therapy.

So what are you going to do? Well, you could carry on with this relationship and, in due course, marry him. But do you want to spend your life with a husband who takes such keen interest in your feet?

Speak to him if you are uncomfortable with this fetish and, reluctantly, I must say, if he isn't willing to change, you should perhaps consider bringing this relationship to a close and finding a boyfriend who has less exotic interests.

White spot

on penis

Q I am a 19-year-old guy, and I am deeply embarrassed by a large white mark on my penis.

It has been there for some years, Doc, and I think it is getting bigger. I do not know what could have caused it. Because of it, I have never dared to go in for any kind of sexual activity with girls.

Do you think I should try and cut away this white area?

A Certainly not! No guy should ever attempt to 'operate' on his penis. That could have disastrous results.

As I have not examined you, I do not know what this white patch is. My best guess is that it might be a common skin disorder called vitiligo.

Vitiligo happens when certain cells in the skin do not produce enough of a pigment called melanin.

Dermatologists (doctors who specialise in skin disorders) treat it with various creams and ointments.

Very commonly, people who have vitiligo disguise the white area with what is termed a camouflage cream. Applying this stuff to your penis just before having sex might lead to problems. I am not sure that it would be safe to get it inside the lady's vagina.

Anyway, your first move now should be to consult a doctor and let him examine your penis. If necessary, he will send you to a dermatologist.

Q Doctor, I get bad period pain. Would the mini-Pill take it away, as I have heard?

A Sorry, it wouldn't, but the ordinary Pill almost certainly would help you.

Thousands of young women have got rid of their menstrual pain by going on the Pill. Get more details from your doctor.

Raped while drunk

Q I am a young man, and the most terrible thing has happened to me, Doc. Very late one night last week, I was walking home alone from a party.

I guess I had had a little to drink because I was not vigilant. Suddenly, a big guy came out of the bushes and just hit me down. While I was lying half-conscious on the ground, he pulled my pants off - and then raped me.

It was painful, and I begged him to stop, but he paid me no mind. Eventually, he ran off. Then I limped home, weeping and slightly bleeding.

Doc, I just feel low because I feel that the attack must have been my fault in some way. What must I do now?

A Psychologically, this is a terrible thing to happen to someone. Please try to forget any ideas that this rape was your fault. It wasn't.

If you haven't already done so, you should report this crime to the cops. When they catch the guy, he may well get locked up for some years.

Medically speaking, I urge you to go to a doctor or clinic specialising in sexual infections. You must have tests for gonorrhoea and chlamydia, and possibly other sexually transmitted infections as well. Fairly soon, you will need to take a blood test for HIV.

This must have been a really horrible experience for you. I think that you should have a course of counselling to help you get over the emotional shock of this traumatic incident.

When is the right time?

Q I have rather irregular menses. Does this mean that I will not be able to get pregnant? I would love to have a baby with my fiancÈ.

A Most young women who have irregular menses do manage to become pregnant. The 'trick' is to find out when you are ovulating - that is, releasing an egg.

Any doctor can help you do this, or you can just buy an ovulation kit from a pharmacy. Using that, you test your urine and find out the date when egg-release is occurring.

Naturally, on that day, you and your fiancÈ should have a lot of sex.

Smoking during sex

Q Hello, Doc. To settle an argument with my girlfriend, is it OK if I smoke during sex with her?

A No, it is not! Cigarette smoke contains all kinds of nasty things, including chemicals which can cause cancer. That is probably why cancer of the cervix is more common among women who smoke - or who have partners that smoke.

If you take a puff during sex, it's inevitable that unpleasant chemicals will get on to your fingers - and then probably into the young lady's vagina.

Also, the plain fact is that it's not too nice for a woman to have intercourse with a guy who keeps pausing to pull on his cigarette.

n Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.