Mon | Oct 15, 2018

Dear Doc: My Husband went to a Lesbian show

Published:Sunday | March 27, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Q: Doc, my husband recently visited Prague in the Czech Republic on business. He came back and told me, with some embarrassment, that he and his colleagues went to a 'lesbian show.'

At first, I was very angry and ready for divorce, because I thought he was going to say that while he was at this theatre, he had sex with one of the women. But to my relief, that was not so.

However, I am still pretty mad at him, because he said that he and his colleagues sat in the front row and eyed all these girls who took off their clothes while dancing on the stage.

What really infuriated me was that, apparently, the main item of the show was a sort of 'lesbian display' between two beautiful women who stood there stark naked and kissed each other - and then did all sorts of rude things to each other's bodies. There was also some oral 'sex kissing'.

He said that all his colleagues got very excited by this. But he claimed to have just 'appreciated the artistic side of it'. I asked him if he was trying to be funny! Then I locked myself in the bedroom for a few hours, and refused to speak to him.

Doc, I would like to ask your advice on this matter. Why do men go and look at naked women performing sexual acts on each other? And why on earth did my husband go along with this? After all, he could have got up and walked out.

Finally, do you think he achieved sexual excitement from such a gross and indecent spectacle?

A: I am sorry that you got so mad about this. Obviously, you are very upset about the idea of your spouse watching a lesbian show - and (worse still) perhaps getting excited about it!

In recent years, the historic and beautiful city of Prague has become famous for this sort of stage show. Large parties of men (and some women) go to watch.

I have stated in this column before that when you have a group of men who are away from home together, there is a certain 'peer pressure' which makes them feel that they have to join in with what is going on. So it probably would have been difficult for your husband to have walked away from the rest of his group. He was in a foreign city, where he presumably did not speak the language, so it might have been difficult for him to get back to his hotel.

Now you ask me whether he 'achieved sexual excitement' while watching those lesbian frolics. Well, I have to admit that it is quite possible. But my advice to you is not to pursue such questions as to whether he got an erection or not. I think discussing that would only cause trouble.

As you rightly suggest, it is curious that so many men do get excited by the idea of lesbianism between very attractive women. No one has ever come up with a very satisfactory explanation for this phenomenon. At the moment, Google has 600,000 websites which attempt to explain it!

Personally, I cannot provide an answer. But perhaps it may be with the well-known male belief that 'four breasts must be even better than two'.

Anyway, I think we must just accept that your husband and his colleagues went to this silly show together. Nothing will change that, but I hope that he won't do it again, in view of the distress which he knows it has caused you.

But there is one good thing to concentrate on. As far as we know, your husband did not have sex with any of the women afterwards and that, at least, is something to be grateful for.


Can Viagra make you blind?

Q: Doc, is it true that Viagra can make a man blind? A friend of mine told me this.

A: There have been very rare reports of men who took Viagra suddenly losing their vision - often in just one eye. This is due to a condition called NAION - which stands for 'Non-Arteritic Ischaemic Optic Neuropathy'.

The risk of this happening is very remote. I have never seen a case of NAION. If you have any concerns, talk to your doctor.


Distressed by constant vaginal discharge

Q: Doc, all my life I have been plagued by vaginal discharges. And they have really affected my sex life!

But now I have met a wonderful new man, so it is very important for me to stay 'discharge-free', in order to enjoy sex with him.

Therefore, I would like to know: what is the cause of vaginal discharge?

A: There are many possible causes of vaginal discharge. Let me describe a few of the most common:

• Normal vaginal secretion. It is normal for healthy adult women to produce a certain amount of fluid each day. This should be clear or white, depending on the 'time of the month'. It should not cause itching, and it increases in volume if you are sexually excited.

• Yeast - also known as 'thrush'. This is a fungus. In fact, it is the same fungus that commonly causes white patches in babies' mouths. In the vagina, it produces a thick, white, 'cheesy' discharge which is usually accompanied by intense itching and soreness.

• Trichomonas vaginalis ('TV'). A sexually transmitted infection, caused from a tiny parasite. It produces a frothy, yellow or green discharge. There is intense soreness, and maybe itching.

• Bacterial vaginosis ('BV'). This is a bacterial infection. It causes a grey or white, fishy-smelling discharge.

Please also note that a brown discharge occurring while the period is ending is usually just a sign of the last of the menstrual blood coming down from the womb. But a brown discharge occurring at other times of the menstrual cycle indicates bleeding - often from the cervix.

A golden rule is this: if you have any doubts about the cause of a discharge, see a doctor. They can examine you, do tests, and put you on the right treatment.


Intimidated by women in bed

Q: As a 34-year-old man, I feel very intimidated by women in bed. Doc, why is it that they usually seem to want me to touch their clitoris? I am not happy about it.

A: It is simply because the clitoris is the exact equivalent of the male's penis. So it is the most sensitive spot on the female body. And as a rule, it is essential to stimulate the woman's clitoris in order to make her orgasm.


'Slightly abnormal' pap smear results

Q: My doctor says that I have 'a slightly abnormal' Pap smear test. Does this mean I have cancer?

A: No, it doesn't. It means that you have some cells on your cervix which might turn into cancer one day. Alternatively, they may just clear up on their own.

But what is vital is that you continue having regular cervical screening. That will allow the doctors to keep a careful eye on those little cells - and allow them to take action if necessary, maybe in a few years' time.

Be cheerful - all will be well!