Gordon Robinson | Let’s begin again

Once more onto the breach dear readers, once more, and fill the space with arcane Tuesday stories.

Even though I haven’t appeared on these pages for almost a year, I’m assailed whenever I leave Casa Tout (which isn’t often) by strangers who tell me how much they enjoy reading about Haemorrhoid. Recently, a reader went so far as to say that he didn’t understand my domino metaphors but he loved Haemorrhoid. I told him Haemorrhoid is a real person as are all my domino players. Gene Autry’s wife, who has heard all the stories at home long before I made them public, says she gets tired of telling people likewise.

Nobody can make these characters up.

That last encounter convinced me to return to regular Tuesday writing although I’d convinced myself the public was sick and tired of my ramblings after sixteen years and needed younger, fresher perspectives. I remain of that mind but, as a Grumpy Old Man who the Old Ball and Chain insists talks too much, I find myself starting over.

There was an old man named Michael Finnegan.

He grew whiskers on his chinnegan.

Shaved them off but they grew in again.

Poor old Michael Finnegan, begin again!

I’m about to make myself even more unpopular (I love it) by postulating that dominoes and bridge are more essential extra-curricular activities for secondary schools than chess. Let me explain.

All three are outstanding mind sports that help to develop critical thinking and teach life skills. But, unlike chess, bridge/dominoes are partnership games (cut-throat domino is solitaire NOT dominoes) so also teach team spirit, co-operation and dispute resolution. In my opinion, they should be key parts of the Peace and Love in Schools (PALS) programme.

Here’s give a domino example: You hold double-six; six-five; six-ace; double-five; double-four; four-trey; and double-trey. So, you dutifully pose double-six because that’s Autry’s House Rule. Right-hand-Opponent plays six-four; partner plays four-ace and left-hand-opponent draws double-ace. What are you going to do with six-ace? You should always try to play that sort of card giving the player “under your hand” a restricted choice of plays.

The correct play is to go two-aces even though you posed six and have another six. Why? Your hand is weak (four doubles; no deuce; no blank) so it isn’t long for this world. You don’t have enough sixes to ensure that “hard six” is developed from going two-sixes. So your best play is to go two-aces and hope your partner was serious about his four-ace play and not forced into it. That’s partnership. That’s teamwork.

I want to believe that Damion Crawford didn’t play either game in school. If he did he couldn’t have been very good. Now why do I pick on Damion to exemplify this latest domino metaphor? Well, a recently leaked voice note containing Damion’s voice denigrating Mark Golding’s leadership skills went viral on the internet. The Damion voice compared Mark as PNP leader to a 400 metres runner running in an 800 metres race. In other words, inadequate for the job.

JLP acolytes had several field days with the video. I was initially prepared to consider it might have been an AI generated fake because no educated person should be so unaware of political realities to do something like that in a manner that could be recorded and shared.

But, lo and behold, it turned out to be THE Damion Crawford. In a social media response Damion explained that the leaked voice note was sent five years ago during the PNP Leadership contest when he supported Mark’s opponent, Lisa Hanna.

Surely he jests?

That gibberish is his excuse for patronizingly belittling a fellow Comrade seeking party leadership in a form readily capable of being available for future JLP campaign advertisements? As a prospective Minister of Education, has Damion not learned that intra-party contests are different from PNP vs JLP campaigns?

Not even Everald Warmington, that icon of loose lips and tracing tongue, would say anything like that about a fellow Labourite leadership candidate. But a presumptive Minister of Education exhibits the hopeless hamfistedness to place those views on a permanent record? He’s entitled to his views but not to expressing them in such a reckless manner while being a senior member of a political party seeking to become Government.

Michael Finnegan is a song of unknown origin that became a British nursery rhyme due to its unlimited number of verses. It’s like Here we go round the Mulberry Bush. The song’s earliest reference was in the Hackney Scout Songbook (1921) and was used in the 1985 movie Finnegan Begin Again starring Robert Preston (sang the song in the movie) and Mary Tyler Moore.

Minister of Education? Nah. Not ready. Damion, begin again!

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney at law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com