Gordon Robinson | Difference between right and wrong

Child abuse is on the rise in Jamaica and has been publicly condemned by all the usual suspects.

This is yet another issue we prefer to address by talking rather than doing. So I might as well make child abuse the subject of another of my arcane stories. This one was recently sent me by a good friend but it read like a shaggy dog tale Haemorrhoid might’ve told at one of today’s domino sessions.

But the sessions are no more. These days I’m relegated to playing dominoes on line as Gene Autry seems to have retired from table games (or, more likely, from me as a partner) and I trust only one other partner who chose Heaven over partnering me. So I’ll present the story as Haemorrhoid would’ve done back then when he watched our games.

Remember Haemorrhoid? Ernest H. Flower was a lazy Articled Clerk who complained incessantly about “piles and piles” of files on his desk. He was a champion raconteur but of the long and winding variety.

Anyway, here’s today’s story presented as Haemorrhoid’s:

“A seven-year-old boy was at the centre of a Kingston, Jamaica courtroom drama when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy had a history of being beaten by his parents so the judge initially awarded custody to his Aunt in keeping with child custody law requiring that family unity be maintained as best as possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his Aunt beat him more than his parents. He adamantly refused to live with her.

When the judge then suggested he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody.

After two adjournments to check legal precedents and confer with Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the West Indies Cricket team whom the boy firmly believed isn’t capable of beating anyone.”

The evidence? ZERO-EIGHT in two formats playing AT HOME. ’Sas Crise!

Before indignant howls reach hurricane proportions, I’m not making fun of child abuse. I am, however (using child abuse as a theme) making fun of our politicians. In that vein Jamaica’s latest (metaphorical) act of child abuse is PNP’s reflexive opposition to the new school bus system.

As I wrote on Tuesday, July 15 ( The Essence of Crowing):

“Transportation in general and school bus systems in particular are…. fundamental to Jamaica’s development, in particular, its human capital development….. It’s an indictment on Jamaica’s governance that, for 63 years, this wasn’t a national priority.

“Although its timing is suspect, Government finally started to implement a strategy for rescuing our students from the dangerous lottery games they currently play to get to and from school. Buses fit for purpose have been imported and dedicated to students in rural areas.”

You’d think PNP would recognise this as a significant step forward even if it wants to criticise the first phase announcement’s timing and/or the political promotion. Of course not! Opposition, apparently anxious to oppose routinely, was quick to attack the policy.

I concluded on July 15:

“No doubt attention must be paid to implementation details like specialist drivers recruitment and training but none of those details include age or cost of buses. And the carelessly proposed alternative is nonsensical.”

Yep. Not a word in English concerning children’s safe transport to and from school. The buses were too old. Proven false! The buses were too expensive. Proven false! The buses were unsuited for rural roads. Proven false! Nobody said what PNP would do with the buses if elected. Scrap them?

Finally I heard the absurd critique that the buses were “wrong-handed drive” because they had left-hand drive steering wheels.

WHAT???

Apparently, studies showed “accidents” increased when using “wrong-handed-drive”. Studies where? And of what specific “wrong-handed-drive” vehicles? School buses driven by drivers trained to put students’ safety first? Or reckless taxi drivers driving right- or wrong-handed vehicles at excessive speeds? How many left-hand-drive (including heavy duty) vehicles operate in Jamaica? What’s the ratio of “wrong-handed” vehicle crashes in Jamaica to right-handed ones?

In THIS country, police statistics establish 87 per cent of motor vehicle crashes are caused by driver error. My experience as a lawyer (and I bet trauma doctors can confirm) is that too many of those drivers were “under the influence”. Only bad workmen blame tools.

There are so many real issues and processes this Government has mishandled or out-rightly corrupted. Yet THIS is the political hill on which PNP wants to die?

For pity’s sake what next? The paint on the buses is too dry?

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com