Lance Neita | The case of the malfunctioning mic

Those of us who have followed our political campaigns for many years will agree that this campaign has been sadly lacking in humour and a good belly laugh.

Long gone are the days when Bustamante ruled with his jibes and teasing on the political platforms, or when Wills Isaacs fired witticisms across the floor that floored his opponents, and Eddie Seaga would ask, in the face of over burdensome automobile taxes, “Is this, Mr. Speaker, what the government means when it says it is putting this country back on its feet”?

Opposition Leader Mark Golding may well remember this election campaign as much for his personality changes as well as his slip with the malfunctioning microphone.

But he could well have escaped from the ire of public opinion if he had taken the time out to remember how a similar incident was treated by Seaga who also once found himself in front of a faulty mike.

Seaga’s quip at the time of his swearing-in as prime minister following his defeat of Michael Manley in 1980 is a prime example of the best of Jamaica’s parliamentary humour, and Eddie, with his famous deadpan countenance, was undoubtedly a master of that craft.

As he got up to speak to the huge crowd on the King’s House lawns on Saturday, November 1, the microphone short-circuited for a minute and there was an ominous silence as the audience awaited his reaction. Jamaica was very aware of the JLP Leader’s taste for perfection and did not expect him to take this breakdown lightly.

When the microphone came back Seaga continued: “Your Excellency, we seem to be having a malfunctioning mic”. He paused, and the crowd went nervous. But surprise, as a half-smile crept across Seaga’s face, and then the priceless witticism: “but a malfunctioning ‘mic’, Your Excellency, is a situation with which we have had to put up with for the past 8 years”.

LIMITING OUR LEGACY

We run the risk of limiting the legacy of our former prime ministers and premiers to the policies, accomplishments and failures that characterised their time in office, without attempting to assess the influence that their widely different egos and outlooks, humour and sobriety, intuition and personal aspirations had upon their style of government and the ultimate chain of events that has made up our chequered history.

Seaga, for instance, forever classified in many minds as cold and impersonal, possessed a quiet but penetrative wit and humour, and according to Rex Nettleford was ruled by “a passionate advocacy of making the people from below a genuine source of energy for creative action in building the new Jamaica”.

His mentor Bustamante was driven by an enormous compassion for the poor which kindled the fierce defence of the disadvantaged that characterised his leadership.

His cousin Norman Manley was the visionary who merged his edicts, policies and personal principles with skills of governance and planning that charted Jamaica’s path on the road to independence. Hugh Shearer’s decision making was characterised by a sense of fairness and balance of political views which allowed him to arrive at closures on an even scale, and to accede to advice from either side of the political divide.

Sir Donald Sangster was a buckler for detail, results orientated, but a man who pursued his tasks with an open mindedness born out of his sense of humour, a yearning to give back, and a community base in the heartland of St. Elizabeth and Mountainside with an early and indelible exposure to the wants and mores of rural Jamaicans.

PERSONAL ECCENTRICITIES

Michael Manley’s terms in office were dictated by his personal eccentricities, passion for the poor, a commitment to evenness and equality, strong personal worldviews of where Jamaica should stand, and a revolutionary spirit softened somewhat by the cultural genes inherited from his parents.

P.J. Patterson’s lifestyle of laissez-faire was anchored by a steely policy of no divergence from his perceptions of Jamaica’s needs, and his dedication to black excellence as personified by Marcus Garvey.

Bruce Golding shared the same visionary and practical planning traits exhibited by the elder Manley and Seaga, while Portia Simpson Miller’s love for the poor patterned Bustamante’s leadership ethics.

So where do our two present day leaders stand? There is no doubt that Prime Minister Andrew Holness is driven by a purposeful desire to achieve a solid future for the country, and is blessed with the energy and a mathematical mind that has scored sound economic and infrastructure successes for growth. But Mr. Holness with all good intentions suffers from an overloaded majority leading to the occasional unruly divergence from his holy grail.

Mr. Golding has allowed his special intellect to be swallowed up by his perceptions of an electorate that demands a roots-man style leadership that he must first satisfy before he can ever get down to the good governance that he is capable of.

Ah well, in politics I guess it is always going to be each one to his own. A memorable feature of the current campaign will be the plethora of promises from both sides, and the official openings of roads and water stations that seemingly cropped up overnight.

In all of this I have been fearing for the prime minister, as it seems that the only thing left for him to open is the batting on the West Indies cricket team. From what we saw at Sabina last month, he would certainly do a better job than present company.

Politics, electioneering and even cricket is as funny as I have always found it. Eventually it all boils down to the temperament, motivation, and desires of our leaders and our cricketers. Maybe we should learn to laugh off their excesses and learn to keep our sanity.

As former American President Ronald Reagan once said in jest, “I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency, even if I am in a Cabinet meeting.”

Lance Neita is a political satirist and public relations professional. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and lanceneita@hotmail.com