'Love must be every day'

Around the world today, mothers are being honoured with gifts, kind words, and festive celebrations. But for Lauretta Porter, her children know better than to call her on Mother’s Day.

“It’s not a special day; I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day,” the 86-year-old said firmly as she sat in her bed at a St Andrew-based nursing home last week.

For her, motherhood isn’t confined to a single calendar day – it’s a continuous, daily act of love, commitment, and sacrifice.

Although Mother’s Day may not be a biblical commandment, she believes mothers should be celebrated every day.

The proud mother of three daughters – all living overseas and excelling in their careers – offered this advice: “You don’t just celebrate the one day and then you don’t celebrate your mommy again. It’s an every day thing. Remember your mommy every day.

“You must show love every day. Respect her every day. Even if your mother didn’t treat you good, still show love,” she said. “I showed my mother love every day.”

Born into a Baptist family but now a devoted Jehovah’s Witness – from which her conviction also flows – Porter told The Sunday Gleaner: “The only day that I celebrate is the day before Christ died – the Last Supper that he had with his disciples, where he said, ‘Keep doing this in remembrance of Me’.”

Her eyes lit up as she grabbed her tablet to share a devotion from Minister Gage Feegle on YouTube. It’s a message about the memorial of Christ’s death and God’s greatest expression of love: the gift of everlasting life and forgiveness.

Porter’s sense of duty and love comes from the lessons passed down by her own mother. She fondly recalls hearing about the struggles her mother faced while raising her and her ten siblings, especially the hardships during her pregnancy with Porter.

“I remember one day she was at my house, and she stopped eating and I said, ‘Why you stop eating?’ She said, ‘Mi jus a pray to God fi yuh nuh dead before me’.

“That is love, and if mi could a dig har up back and bury, I would dig har up and kiss har and bury har back ‘cause hearing the things she went through in her pregnancy, she could a kill me or throw me to a pig, but she didn’t, “ Porter said, her voice quivering with emotion.

Her view on motherhood contrasts with the joyous tone of another mother nearby – 83-year-old Adela ‘Sister Dell’ Jackson, who embraces Mother’s Day with open arms.

“It’s nice when my children come and celebrate with me,” said Sister Dell, smiling wide.

For this Mother’s Day, while her daughter or sons may visit and gift her, an outing with her only daughter would make her day.

“If she come and carry me out, anyweh she seh, so long as it will be OK. Mek it nice, man, even some fish eating,” Sister Dell told The Sunday Gleaner with a chuckle.

A domestic worker in her younger days, she raised five children, some of whom are still living miles away from her in her native parish, St Ann.

“Mi love God and mi love mi children,” the long-time Seventh-day Adventist worshipper said, noting that she still gets regular calls from her pastor and church brethren.

Her greatest reward for motherhood, she said, is having children who care for her.

“I thank God mi have mi children. Might be if me neva have none, mi wouldn’t have nobody ‘round me. Mi would have other people, yes, but your children are the ones who will stand fi you,” she said.

“Mi luv dem. Mi send dem to school – mi and dem daddy. Luv dem, talk to dem, tell dem what is good, and tell dem what is bad.”

Sister Dell emphasised she had to work hard to support her children.

“[It] was hard – a nuh work, a wuk. Poor mi!”

Porter, who grew up in rural St Elizabeth before settling in Kingston, shares a similar experience. Alongside her now-deceased husband, she worked long hours as a domestic helper, wearing the same clothes for days just to afford school fees for her children.

“I wear one skirt and blouse because I work for the week. Every evening, I rinse out the one pink blouse,” she said. “Mi try with them.”

Even when one of her daughters became pregnant as a teenager, Porter never gave up on her. Today, that daughter is a nurse in Canada.

Porter takes great pride in her children, all of whom she considers exemplary, but her greatest joy is that “they know the Bible”.

Despite her firm views on not celebrating Mother’s Day, Porter revealed, “Mi miss dem and cry fi dem every day.”

... Now a challenging time for young mothers

Both women are concerned about the challenges young mothers face today. Porter worries that many lack the support systems she had. Sister Dell, reflecting on her own upbringing, says her mother was strict, but she learned valuable lessons in obedience.

While noting the difference now with the older generations, Sister Dell said although her “time was better”, young mothers today should “sit down and talk with their children”, and teach them to obey like in the “old times.”

Both women agree that today’s generation of youngsters has more freedom but less guidance, and they are encouraging today’s mothers to “Be patient, listen to elders, respect your children, and raise them in love and faith.

“Show love to your children – and show love to your own parents, even if dem never treat you good. And don’t wait on one day to do it. Ask Jehovah to guide you. Every day is a gift.

“You must thank Jehovah that you live to see another Mother’s Day, yes. But not to make it special only one day. Love must be every day,” Porter advised.

Sister Dell added: “Who live fi see it, tell God thanks. Tell God thanks. Thank God fi you parents, fi you pickney, fi yuh family.”

tanesha.mundle@gleanerjm.com