Letter of the Day | Need for balanced perspective on gender-based violence

THE EDITOR, Madam:

I am writing in response to the article ‘All violence matters ... Juliet Holness says too much focus on gender’, dated April 21. We continue to be a very aggressive society and, in my opinion, there is usually no reason for such extreme aggression.

I am in agreement with the Mrs Holness. My reason, though, is because women have been the ones to grow up children, especially boys. We are seeing that these boys are the alleged perpetrators of violence against women – who are their nurturers. Where did we go wrong along the line? We need to know if we will find some more urgent, well- needed solutions.

If a study was to be done, what would we find to be the issues these boys have with their mothers who have raised them? Would we find that these mothers (and probably sisters) have damaged them more through their derogatory, emasculating words and attitudes and now the boys are rebelling?

I would recommend a national study to look into the following:

1. The offenders who were brought up only by their female guardians (mothers or sisters)

2. The offenders who had male influence throughout their formative years ( from birth to 20 years)

3. Whether the male influence in their lives were themselves charged or guilty of any offences and, if yes, how far back does it go in the family?

4. Whether the females were abusive (verbally, emotionally or physically) towards these boys

5 If the women have been offenders, do they attack (verbally or physically) their adult male companions, if yes, does this happen in the presence of their children?

6. How many men report offences against them?

7. Of the reported offences against men, how many women have been charged? There is the belief that women tend to get off lightly on these issues, and since all violence matters, both sides need to be made accountable.

If some of the females have violent tendencies which are affecting their spouses or children, then we need to address this issue. This will not give the males any right to perpetuate the crime but we will need to re-socialise both sides – an eye for an eye will certainly make us all blind. So will the continued cycle of violence from either sides going to destroy us as a nation?

KAMAU HAKIZIMANA