Cheap lies, expensive truth

Carolyn Cooper, Contributor

FOR OVER a year, 'Dudus', Manatt, Phelps & Phillips have been inseparably joined at the hip in the local and international media. These four names, tripping off the tongue, sound like partners in a respectable law firm doing legitimate business.

I suppose the lawyers might object to being yoked in this way with the infamous Dudus. But then, again, lawyers are notorious for the compromising company they keep. After all, in many jurisdictions, the accused is presumed to be innocent until proven guilty. So lawyers must, of necessity, fraternise with both the guilty and the innocent.

In the case of Manatt, Phelps & Phillips, the law firm scrupulously denies any wrongdoing at all in the Dudus affair. They insist that their claim to have been employed by the Government of Jamaica - not the Jamaica Labour Party - is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Our prime minister's side of the story is not so straightforward. There have been many versions of the sordid tale of 'How not to handle an extradition request from the United States government'. We've been told a lot of half-truths and downright lies. Now, it seems, Prime Minister Golding has decided that we must pay dearly for the whole truth.

So, as detailed on the Jamaica Information Service website, a commission of enquiry has been set up to 'enquire into':

• a. The issues relating to the extradition request for Christopher Coke by the Government of the United States of America;
  
• b. The manner and procedure in which the said extradition request was handled by the Government of Jamaica and the role and conduct of the various public officials who handled the extradition request;
  
• c. The circumstances in which the services of the law firm Manatt, Phelps & Phillips were engaged, in relation to any or all of the matters involved, by whom were they engaged, and on whose behalf they were authorised to act;
  
• d. Whether there was any misconduct on the part of any person in any of these matters and, if so, to make recommendations as the commission sees fit for the referral of such persons to the relevant authority or disciplinary body for appropriate action.

Why dem a waste money?

Ask any primary school child in Jamaica - boy or girl - to answer the questions on the exam paper that the prime minister has set for the commissioners. The first thing the child would say is: "Dem don't know di answer dem, Miss? Eeeh, Miss? Why dem a waste money fi ask dem deh question? Dem no coulda tek di money fix up some a di school dem? Miss, mek me tell dem!

"Yu see, Dudus, Miss. Im a one big, big don inna di prime minister constituency. Yes, Miss. Big, big, big! An im have nuff money. Mi no know weh im get di money from, Miss. But is nuff, nuff, nuff, nuff money. And, Miss, im gi out plenty money to di people dem inna di constituency. More dan di prime minister. Yes, Miss, one a mi fren modder get whole heap a money from im.

"Tings a gwaan good yu know, Miss. So til one day, Obama send message to govament seh im waan Dudus come a Merica fi talk to im. Im waan know weh Dudus get di whole heap a money. If a sell im a sell drugs an gun. An fi wi govament gi Dudus di message.

"Miss, Dudus seh im naa go. Obama too faas! Weh im waan know im business fa? Dudus talk to im MP. Yes, Miss. Entime yu inna trouble, Miss, yu ha fi go talk to yu MP. Yu MP must an boun fi help yu. Yu vote fi im. An im ha fi look after yu. Or yu naa vote fi im again. An yu naa gi im no money fi run election. Wa yu seh, Miss? Yes, Miss, sometime di MP is a uman. Like Sister P.

"Dudus talk to im MP. Dat a Bruce Golding, Miss, di prime minister. An Bruce an dem odder one inna di Jamaica Labour Party mek up dem mind seh dem naa send Dudus go gi Obama. Dem get one big-time lawyer, Mr Brady, fi talk to some odder big-time lawyer inna Merica - dem name Manatt, Phelps an Phillips - fi find out how dem fi pretty it up an tell Obama, gweh!"

Peter Phillips bust di story

"An, Miss, a so it a gwaan. Peter Phillips im, dem seh im a CIA, Miss, a im bust di story bout Manatt inna parliament. Yes, Miss. An di prime minister seh notn no go so. Peter Phillips never rest so til di prime minister ha fi admit seh a im did tell Mr Brady fi talk to Manatt. But, Miss, im seh im did tell im fi tell Manatt seh a di JLP dem a work fa, no di govament.

"Whole heap a people start bawl out seh di prime minister too lie. Im fi resign. Im go pon TV an im bawl di living eye water an seh im sorry. An some a di people dem sorry fi im, Miss, an gi im a chance. An im never resign. Im wheel an come again.

"Lickle, lickle odder tings start come out weh mek it look like seh di prime minister never tell di whole a di truth when im did a bawl pon TV. A no di prime minister one, Miss. Plenty a di high ups inna govament, dem mix up inna di mix-up an blender. It look bad eeeh, Miss!

"So a it mek di prime minister set up fi im 'commission of enquiry.' Miss, di commissioner dem can force di prime minister fi talk di truth? Wa mek im no just talk di truth an done?"

As I child, I learnt a memory gem that sums up the predicament in which Bruce Golding now finds himself, caught between the devil of political expediency and the deep blue sea of a potentially damning commission of enquiry:

Speak the truth and speak it ever

Cost it what it will.

He who hides the wrong he does

Does the wrong thing still.

Setting up this dubious commission of enquiry appears to be the wrong thing still, especially if its findings only serve to hide wrongdoing under the cloak of respectability. We simply can't afford any more cheap lies, no matter how expensively packaged.

Carolyn Cooper, PhD, is a teacher of English and an advocate of Jamaican language rights. Visit her bilingual blog, Jamaica Woman Tongue, at carolynjoycooper.wordpress.com. Feedback may be sent to columns@gleanerjm.com or karokupa@gmail.com.