Mon | Jul 26, 2021

Something new with someone new: Dating around

Published:Sunday | March 10, 2019 | 12:00 AM

Hi. Welcome to Something New with Someone New. As the name suggests, I’ve started this interesting, fascinating and enlightening journey with ‘someone new’, and since you journeyed with me through ‘single but iffy’ I decided to give a sneak peek of journey. So, let’s get right to it.

Dating is a beautiful recreational activity. But it can also be scary feat, especially if you’re going in ‘blind’. Netflix and their pop-up suggestions introduced me to one of their new series: Dating Around. I had been ignoring it for weeks, chalking it up to lame reality TV. But then I thought, “This might give me good insight for work.” So I watched it. The concept was simple enough: you go on five first dates and at the end, based on the progress made, you choose one to go on a second date with. It was not only entertaining, it was a real eye-opener too, and had me taking a stroll down my own memory lane of dating.

I spent the former part of last year self-assessing and evaluating everything: I was in no way, shape or form ready to date anybody. Fast-forward to the latter months. Once I had healed to a significant degree and was willing to try my hand at happily ever after, once more, I went out and about with an open heart. But dating and I never hit it off.

Every man I met was either in hook-up mode: you go out in classic black and white only to be greeted by a world of 50 Shades of Gray. Or would much rather be my friend. And there were those who were interested but never had the time or just weren’t my cup of tea. I went through with a few meet and greets, in a central location, just to see if I was ready: I wasn’t. And it seemed they weren’t either, since I was never cordially invited to wine or dine with any of them.

I was only asked out on one date. This guy kept it casual and I thought to myself, “What the heck? I have nothing to lose. If anything, we’d be friends.”

The first date with him was so great that we made plans for a second. Then another. And yes, another one. We’ve been ‘dating’ ever since.


Now, dating has several benefits. For couples, it’s a wonderful way of reconnecting with each other, learning more about where your partner is or desires to be, and enjoying special company. Engaging and communicating play a vital role in the growth and development of ‘us’. Life can be overwhelming sometimes so can provide a great getaway from the hustle and bustle, the mundane or the stress.

If I thought dating was hard enough when you’re single, that level of difficulty increases when you’re in a relationship. I must sound crazy, right? How could I jump to this conclusion when I should be basking in the bliss of this ‘honeymoon’ phase? But let’s try to solve this math equation. What do you get when you add one reporter who works beyond a nine-to-five, and some weekends, with an entrepreneur who works before nine, finishes far afield from five and gives Saturdays and Sundays the weekday treatment? One extremely busy schedule, which sets to eliminate the whole process of dating.

Instead of looking at this equation as a ‘problem’ of sorts, he and I have aspired to create realistic solutions. Routines seem to be no match for the chromatic fanfare. So, we rely on spontaneity to save the day. Find common interests and run with it. If you’re both into nature, then explore the great outdoors together every now and then. You may romantically relish in a nice drive to the countryside an evening promenade at a destination of your choosing. I’m a foodie and he enjoys the savoury indulgences of a good meal, so we’ll opt for trying a new place or a new dish.

It helps, too, to switch up who makes the choices and who picks up the tab. Some men like it when their female counterpart steps up to plate, bats and hits a home run.

The hand-to-mouth economy pales in comparison to this guy’s ingenuity, devising what I like to call ‘dating on a budget’. It’s very fascinating to watch him take creativity a far way. Cutting cost by wining and dining on the home front ‘issa win’ also because you have the freedom of dressing it up or taking it down a notch, getting casually comfortable. Plus, one pop of the bubbly can open the door to palplable possibilities.

So while I didn’t master dating around when I was single, I have made it my amorous mission to date around in and out of town with my special agent. *wink*