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Hello Mi Neighbour | Hurting people need compassion

Published:Tuesday | April 18, 2017 | 12:00 AM

Hello, mi neighbour! Every hurting person is a potential 'hurter'. Will Bowen puts it this way, "hurt people hurt people". The extent to which a person will hurt another depends on the depth at which he/she is hurting. And I speak as a layman, not a psychologist. So people will hurt others as a means of relieving the inner pain being felt at the moment. Depending on their mental or spiritual state, they may sink to either of two extremes: homicide or suicide. HELP THEM QUICKLY!

Everyone hurts in different ways and at varying degrees ... no one escapes. So, what's hurting you?

A marital break-up?

Loss of a loved one?

An abusive relationship?

A cheating partner


Financial worries?

Unruly children?

Health issues?

All deeply hurting people need compassion. In many instances they are virtually helpless. Reaching out to them requires a non-judgemental stance and a strong desire to help relieve their pain. Though quite a task, we must try. Make that phone call. Send that text. Email or WhatsApp words of encouragement/inspiration to lift the spirit with a reminder that 'this too shall pass'. Tell them that "weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." We must also coax them into believing that their present hurt is not to destroy them, but to make them stronger - building character.

Many of us can attest to the seeming barbaric treatment of people by people in the name of hurt. They did it because they were hurting. On any given day, you hear of a nice damsel walking away from an abusive relationship and the guy who 'loved' (hated) her so much finds and kills her because her departure has hurt him so deeply. Could that have been averted through wise counsel? Steven Stephens (USA) was hurting so deeply as a consequence of a recent broken relationship that he pulled a gun and killed an innocent 74-year-old randomly.

So the question is raised again: are we our brother's keeper? Every day, someone we know reaches a breaking point without our knowledge. Due to lack of trust, they could say nothing about what may be bugging them, and we are not observant/sensitive enough to pick up that something is amiss. And yes, we all have our own cross to carry and burdens to bear, but 'lawks, man', we can't be so self-focused that we can't even look through the corner of an eye to see what's happening to our brothers and sisters.

The negative impact of hurt on our society is far deeper than many care to think.

It is visible in the schools as children hurt one another. The development of various health issues in the working environment is yet another indication that hurt is at work and we must band together to deal with this critical matter. And where do we begin? Let's begin at me: am I the cause of anyone's discomfort? How well am I managing my hurts? Am I willing to help others managing their hurt and seek help to manage mine? Am I willing to do unto others as I would have them do unto me? And am I willing to help someone from the list below?

Thanks to the following for helping their neighbours.

Miriam, St Catherine - For offering children's clothing to Angella.

Neighbour, Clarendon - For offering a wheelchair to a neighbour in Westmoreland.


... Opportunities for helping


- Donna, Clarendon - Fifteen-year cancer survivor. Wheelchair bound. Suffers from diabetes and hospitalised and is asking neighbours to assist with cost to do a CT scan.

- Sandra, St James - Sewing machine got destroyed by fire. Asking for assistance to replace it.

- Andrea, St James - Mother of three asking for a sewing machine.

- Neighbour - Asking for bed linen for small bed.

- Kenesha - Single mother of three asking for chest of drawers or dresser, church clothing for nine-year-old girl also.

- Maxine, Hanover - Needs a sewing machine.

- Sister Del l St Andrew - Asking for a bed.

- Sharon - Kidney patient urgently needs help. Her heart is now affected and her feet are swollen and painful.

To help, please call 334-8165, 884-3866, or deposit to acct # 351 044 276 NCB. (Bank routing #: 'JNCBJMKX) or send donations to Hello Neighbour' c/o 53 Half Way Tree Road, Kingston 10; Paypal/credit card: email:

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